Making mistakes

As we have said, it is important for a leader to remain strong in your vision and consistent in your direction. There will be times, however, that in hindsight it will be obvious to all, or to most, that the leader was wrong.  Maybe it was it was you said.  Or maybe, more than likely, it could have been in how you communicated or how you made someone feel based on your remarks, tone or facial expression.  It also may just be that the facts show that the decision or action taken was incorrect or in someway flawed.

What do you do when you are wrong, and know it?  Let's look at this from three perspectives, and we will start out with common myths.

Myth one:  Leaders are always right, and they aren't leaders if they make mistakes.
Myth two: Leaders show weakness when they say they were wrong. 
Myth three: People don't trust you if you admit your wrong.

Myth one:  Leaders are always right, and they aren't leaders if they make mistakes:  

We all know in our hearts that no one is perfect and no leader is either for that matter.  Sometimes, however, our society looks and analyzes our leaders, our politicians, coaches, pastors and business executives and when they are wrong, they want them fired.  When their decisions don't work, get rid of them.  When the team loses, they don't know how to coach.  Today's media and the culture of America that demands everything and everything now is tough on leaders.  The bottom line is that leaders don't always get it right.  Mistakes are made, the key is, what do you do when you make them?

Myth two: Leaders show weakness when they say they were wrong.  

Maybe you feel you will be perceived as weak if you say you are wrong.  Maybe you just have too much pride to admit to failure.  Maybe you aren't sure if they will still follow you if you are seen as incorrect, ultimately making you weak.  Whatever your reason, you are wrong, and you need to admit it:)

The reality is that people perceive you from their own eyes and with their own lens.  If you make mistakes and they know, and they know you know it, but you stand firm without acknowledgement of the mistake, they will see you as prideful.  You will become the unapproachable leader.  You actually become more weak when they realize that you don't see the truth.  The truth is, all people make mistakes, including leaders, and admitting you did is important.

Myth three: People don't trust you if you admit your wrong.

This is actually the most important myth to discover and revoke.  You want their trust, then you need to admit you were wrong.  People don't trust people that are prideful and oblivious of the facts.  You will gain immediate respect when you say, I was wrong.  More importantly, making a mistake means you need to do more than just say I was wrong, you need to apologize.  You need to amend the wrong and that is how the trust is built.

Your apology should be:

• In person (if at all possible). No text messages or emails, if you can't do it in person, do it over the phone.  Talk to the person so they can see and hear what and how you are saying it.

• Sincere.  Let them know, in voice inflection, eyes, your choice of words, you know you were wrong and you are sorry.

• A catalyst for the future.  You need them to follow you, if you want them to trust you, learn from your mistake and share that learning.  Let them know you have considered the outcomes and impact and are making changes to ensure the future is better as a result.

If you believe in yourself, have the confidence to learn from what you do right and wrong.  Share that learning with others and use the experience to be a better leader.