Faith to sit, faith to act

There is an old saying that is a favorite of mine, it is commonly known as the serenity prayer. 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

Let's take a look at what this means to you, and how the three words in italics are the words to empower you to true fulfillment as you lead your life, and others.

Serenity is peace.  To be completely serene you know that what is or has occurred is not something you can change, and therefore, you have made peace with it.  Imagine sitting in a beautiful park in the upper midwest, on a crisp autumn day.  You are alone on a wooden bench under a shade tree, and your view is marvelous.  You are overlooking a lake, with birds flying against a perfect blue sky.  The backdrop is colorful, from red to orange to yellow, you see the splendor of fall.  As you sit in the quiet of the moment, a sudden rain storm swells up.  The clouds roll in, the wind howls, the rain pours, your perfect moment is ruined, right, well, wrong.  At least wrong attitude.  See, without the rain, the beauty you were viewing would not exist.  You cannot stop the rain, or control the wind, so being upset only changes you, not the circumstance.  Be still, be serene, accept the moment you cannot change.

The cowardly lion wanted courage.  He wanted to stand up and fight and not be afraid.  He knew that to get anywhere of value, he was going to have to do the work, he was going to need to fight, and so must you.  Each day you are faced with challenges and opportunities to lead, to grow, to build upon the vision and make an impact for others.  Will you have the courage to make that difference.  If you do, great things will happen.  If you don't, they won't.  There are many things in your life you can change, like your attitude.  Do you smile and greet people with enthusiasm?  Do you choose to accept the rain storm with peace?  Do you look at challenges as an opportunity to make a difference?  Let's go back to the lion, if you remember, he stands up for Dorothy, he decides to take action and go along for the journey to Oz.  In actuality, as the story shows, his ability to act is courage.  Always expecting the results you want is lacking wisdom.

And that brings us to the all important wisdom, knowledge that is beyond ourselves.  Wisdom is more than just intelligence, more than reading books or knowing the right thing to do.  Wisdom is understanding, it is seeing a bigger picture.  Wisdom in the best form is recognition that something is worth the fight, it is something you will try, and something that make a noble impact to others.  If you meet the goal or not is irrelevant to the fight.  Have the courage to go for it when you need to, to sit when you must, and the faith so that you can be shown the difference between the two.

Make a daily, and lasting impact

Most people, when truthfully speaking, will not place money as their number one reason for working at a place or business.  Studies show that other factors rise much higher, including:

• Being challenged as an individual
• Bringing value to others
• Opportunities to be promoted, ie, grow, expand responsibility or take on new things

I will summarize that this by saying people like to make an impact.  You, and me, want to know that what we do matters.  That our time, our efforts, our success is in seeing that others are helped, the organization moves forward and the mission is being accomplished.

So, then, why do so many people leave their jobs, or remain in jobs they are unhappy?  Why is our divorce rate at 50%?  Why is it that we tend to not feel appreciated or valued, and we constantly look for something else?  I am going to answer these questions by stating it is in YOUR hands, not someone else.  Stop looking for others to fix the problem and recognize that you have a path to fulfill, and it is in your power to do so.

There have been many discussions on levels of leaders, and those speak more to organizational qualities, or development qualities. I want to speak to your ultimate fulfillment in what you do, where you are in your life, and the constant building required from one stage to the next.  The key is to recognize that everyone is at different stages in their lives, so the amount of time to build from one stage to the next is unique.  Leadership, and living life, is in an individual process, and your pace will be specific to you. This entire book is dedicated to making a maximum impact and sustaining maximum growth.

I have broken down the path to daily and long term leadership into the following stages:

Stage 1:  Accept that you are a leader (everyone influences someone)
Stage 2:  Do the work for the benefit of others (you don't lead yourself)
Stage 3:  Make a positive impact, today, and every day (do the work)
Stage 4:  Measure the fruit produced and prepare for the next harvest (evaluation)
Stage 5:  Invest in others (give back by mentoring)

As you move up, you aren't neglecting the previous stage, just building upon each stage to continue your growth and your impact.
 

Don't get trapped in the rat race!

Getting caught up in the daily "rat race", or the grinding details of the work to do can leave one in an emotionally down state.  The effect of seeing all the work to do, the failures made, the errors occurring, or even the progress left ahead can cripple you.  In the end, your goals will not be accomplished, no one is being led and the outcome is disaster. 

In order to avoid this scenario, it is important to recognize the symptoms that are a result of not remaining focused on leading, on growth and on the broader vision.

Key areas of concern are:

• You only work on issues and problems
• You never accomplish your daily agenda priority items
• Your afternoons are filled with stress, chaos and upset people
• You don't take breaks, eat lunch or have time for fun
• You can't sleep 7 straight hours without awakening because you are worried about work

When you look at this list, rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, and be honest with yourself.  Give each point a rating, with 1 being  you never have this occur, and a 10 meaning you always do this.  If you score higher than a 35, you need to evaluate your priorities, your actions, your purpose and processes as a leader.  If you scored higher than a 45 you need to take a vacation, and then implement immediate action to avoid damage to other aspects of your life.  This is serious stuff, so start now.

Start first with your time, manage it, don't let it manage you.  There will always be interruptions, yet don't let them control what you do and when.  Respond to the highest priority item on YOUR list and address it first.  Someone else may have an item of high importance, yet you need to decide what is your highest priority in the scope of the overall vision.

Next, take a look at your goals and the methodology you are using to accomplishing them, including other people.  You may need to adjust your (and their) expectations, and possibly eliminate or change your vision, product or people.  Leaving things the way they are will only leave the symptoms as they are, and ultimately, progress will not be made.

Next step is to plan breaks into your day and week.  Allow down time, time to think, time to eat, relax and dream.  You need to acknowledge and accept that this is still work, yes, taking a break, thinking strategically and preparing for the next big task IS work.  This all allows you to be your best in each moment, which is the next point.

When you are working on something, sitting in a meeting, or speaking with a friend or co-worker, you need to be fully engaged in that moment.  Multitasking has received improper credit to represent people capable of doing a lot of things at one time.  Consider this from now on, if you are doing more than one thing at a time, you are now doing 2 things poorly.  Be where you are, period.  Fully engage and emotionally connect to the moment, nothing else. 

You will find that with a few simple adjustments in priority, time management, planning and engagement of your mind, you will see the right things are being done, and done more accurately and more efficiently. 

Perception is NOT reality

There is an old saying that perception is reality.  I would like to take some time to unveil the truth behind what perception is.  Perception is what someone believes something to be, and therefore, to them it becomes their reality.  That does NOT mean it is the actual reality, or the truth, yet it does provide for an obstacle in leading and accomplishing progress.

The reality is that a leaders needs to be able to lead, down and up, across and through and the perception of others can hinder your leadership.  The key point, however, is that to be successful as a leader, your vision, your methodology, your the ability to do the right thing, to remain focused on the larger goal and always have others' interests in mind is what makes you successful.  Trying to correct every misconception (or lack of reality) for each person is not feasible.

There is always going to be someone, somewhere, that perceives you not as your really are.  There is always someone that will bring you down, that says you aren't able or equipped.  There is always someone that will find fault in your work, and potentially personalize their message to be about you. 

This is what I call the perceptions gap.  This is the difference between reality and their perceived reality.

 The caution here, do not fall into the trap.  Here are the things to do to avoid reacting, or worse, having your self worth be based on the opinion of others and simply their perception of your performance. 

Make sure that you surround yourself with trusted leaders that give you honest feedback.  Have people that will be honest about your work ethic, about your vision, about who you are and what you do.  This can be family, friends, co workers, peers, bosses, anyone.  The quantity should be between 2-5 people, remember these are people you will allow in to the deepest part of your life.

Always reflect and be honest with yourself.  You know in your gut when you are doing your best, or not.  That deep part inside that says the direction is failing, means it probably is.  The opinion of your trusted advisers does matter, yet you know yourself the best.

Set goals that meet up with your vision and objectives.  I realize that many times in the workplace those are set for us, and we can't always change ours.  Saying that, are you accomplishing what is set before you.  Regardless of the many critics out there, if you are in alignment with your (or your set goals) then press ahead.

Communicate with others as much as possible.  Sharing the truth, the reality of what is occurring helps to eliminate the rumors and the perception gap.  Spend time sharing what is really happening, how it meets the goals and ultimately the vision.  By consistently communicating (see post on communication) you inform the reality and ultimately, change the perception. 

Your goal, is not to meet their perception, it is to influence it, and by doing so you close the gap and better align them to reality.

The winning ticket

Have you ever played the lottery?  Have you, or have you known someone, that won the lottery?  Not just a small amount, but that life changing, oh my, this is going to be crazy amount of money.  Have you ever thought about what you would do if you won a million dollars?  Well, as I write this there is a current jackpot worth over 450 million dollars to a single winner.  Wow, what could you do with 450 million dollars?

Everyone of us has a list, right.  We would give some away, we would pay down our debt, we would set up our families, we would buy a few nice things, travel and live on the rest.  No worries, life is set and we could live where we want and do what we want, forever. 

The real question is, why are you playing the lottery in the first place?  What is it about your life, the direction you have and your purpose that you can't build upon?  What makes you hunger for so much money that you are willing to give away what you do have for this remote chance of getting more.  We all hear the odds of winning big are worse than being struck by lightening.  How many people do you know that have been struck by lightening?

With the easy questions out of the way, let's get to the meat of the matter.  How many people do you know that are struggling with their purpose?  How many days do you wake up not knowing how you will make it through?  How many of you have or know someone who has cancer?  How many of you have kids, or have employees that work for you, or have siblings that count on you?

See, the real test of our character as a leader is when we stand up and face the real challenges in life.  Leading isn't about position, it is about influence.  How can you help others today?  How can you be an example of how to appreciate what you have and can control, and then build upon that to benefit others?

Start today, first, by not playing the lottery.  Secondly, invest your time in what skills you have, and where you currently are.  Whether it is your family, your co-workers, your family or friends, you have opportunities every day to win big.  The people in your life count on you, you are gifted and prepared for exactly what they need.  Dig deep, find the leader in you, the one that lights the path for others, that keeps the focus on things that matter.  The lottery, it is just a game that you really can't win.  Leading others to heights they couldn't achieve without you, that is the real winning ticket!

Blooming fruit again

Sometimes as a leader I have been so caught up with strategy, planning, execution and our progress that I don't always take time to pause, reflect and realign for improvement.  Sometimes, when we don't take the time to do those important elements of leadership, situations bring us to that point where we have nothing but time, stillness and possibly even void.

One of the most calming and reassuring quotes from scripture is "Be still and know I am God".  This points directly to the importance of pause and reflection.  It reminds us that many things are beyond our control and our reach, and that in the stillness we find many things.

I remember a time when I had spent nearly 3 years working on a new business strategy within a larger company.  We hired people, we pushed the new brand, we invested countless hours and resources to sell our new solutions.  While progress was made, many circumstances resulted in ultimately the business being shut down.  Upon finding out that decision, it was very difficult to face my staff, and also difficult to even know what to do.  My time was focused on the future and growth, and now, I had nothing to do but begin to shut things down.

When as a leader you find yourself with a failed business strategy, or a lack of direction, or a time where you are not bearing fruit, you need to be still.  You need to use this time to reflect on where you have been and what you have learned.  You need to also be completely still, just allowing this time to prepare you for the new season of growth coming ahead.

Each winter in the north the trees, the vines and fruit bearing plants go dormant, they do so and use the time to prepare for the upcoming spring.  Each year, they return stronger, bigger, with new blooms and growth and bearing even more fruit than they did previously.  Make sure that in your winter, in the stillness you let the time and stillness work, and ultimately prepare you.  Use the reflection and preparation for the spring time ahead, and even when you are anxious, don't rush spring, it will come when you are ready to bloom again.

Making mistakes

As we have said, it is important for a leader to remain strong in your vision and consistent in your direction. There will be times, however, that in hindsight it will be obvious to all, or to most, that the leader was wrong.  Maybe it was it was you said.  Or maybe, more than likely, it could have been in how you communicated or how you made someone feel based on your remarks, tone or facial expression.  It also may just be that the facts show that the decision or action taken was incorrect or in someway flawed.

What do you do when you are wrong, and know it?  Let's look at this from three perspectives, and we will start out with common myths.

Myth one:  Leaders are always right, and they aren't leaders if they make mistakes.
Myth two: Leaders show weakness when they say they were wrong. 
Myth three: People don't trust you if you admit your wrong.

Myth one:  Leaders are always right, and they aren't leaders if they make mistakes:  

We all know in our hearts that no one is perfect and no leader is either for that matter.  Sometimes, however, our society looks and analyzes our leaders, our politicians, coaches, pastors and business executives and when they are wrong, they want them fired.  When their decisions don't work, get rid of them.  When the team loses, they don't know how to coach.  Today's media and the culture of America that demands everything and everything now is tough on leaders.  The bottom line is that leaders don't always get it right.  Mistakes are made, the key is, what do you do when you make them?

Myth two: Leaders show weakness when they say they were wrong.  

Maybe you feel you will be perceived as weak if you say you are wrong.  Maybe you just have too much pride to admit to failure.  Maybe you aren't sure if they will still follow you if you are seen as incorrect, ultimately making you weak.  Whatever your reason, you are wrong, and you need to admit it:)

The reality is that people perceive you from their own eyes and with their own lens.  If you make mistakes and they know, and they know you know it, but you stand firm without acknowledgement of the mistake, they will see you as prideful.  You will become the unapproachable leader.  You actually become more weak when they realize that you don't see the truth.  The truth is, all people make mistakes, including leaders, and admitting you did is important.

Myth three: People don't trust you if you admit your wrong.

This is actually the most important myth to discover and revoke.  You want their trust, then you need to admit you were wrong.  People don't trust people that are prideful and oblivious of the facts.  You will gain immediate respect when you say, I was wrong.  More importantly, making a mistake means you need to do more than just say I was wrong, you need to apologize.  You need to amend the wrong and that is how the trust is built.

Your apology should be:

• In person (if at all possible). No text messages or emails, if you can't do it in person, do it over the phone.  Talk to the person so they can see and hear what and how you are saying it.

• Sincere.  Let them know, in voice inflection, eyes, your choice of words, you know you were wrong and you are sorry.

• A catalyst for the future.  You need them to follow you, if you want them to trust you, learn from your mistake and share that learning.  Let them know you have considered the outcomes and impact and are making changes to ensure the future is better as a result.

If you believe in yourself, have the confidence to learn from what you do right and wrong.  Share that learning with others and use the experience to be a better leader.