Establish a Council of Advisers

Every day, in all aspects of our lives, we are faced with decisions.  Some of these decisions have very little impact on others, like what color socks you choose to wear.  Sure, you would like them to match, yet it has no bearing on others' lives, nor on your influence as a leader.  Other decisions are very important, and their impact can be spread to many and be long lasting.

Consider these examples: taking a new job, relocating, getting married, approaching an employee or client with bad news, calling a teacher with your frustration, promoting someone, how to invest your money, and the list goes on.  Each of these decisions will have lasting effects, and they impact many others.  As you aspire to lead a great life, and bring the best out in others, you also need to ensure you are doing your best, and this means making the best decisions.

Leaders are naturally driven to act, to make decisions, to take charge of situations, and this is also one of our greatest weaknesses.  The leader that acts too quickly, or acts alone when it comes to these major decisions will ultimately find themselves learning from many mistakes.

The best decisions in life are made with the council of others.  In order to have their council, you need them to be engaged and aware of the situation.  This means, whether at work or at home, you need to selectively choose a management team.  This team needs to:

• Journey the path with you.  They need to work along side you, or share life experience with you.  You need this person to be someone that is familiar with the situation and with you.
• Be honest with you.  There is nothing worse than making a decision based on incomplete information, or not truthful advice.  You need to know that this group will be honest with you, nor matter how convicted you may be in your direction.  They are the final safety net to help you make the best decision possible.
• Care for you.  That may sound a bit warm and fuzzy for the workplace or organizational structures, yet if your most trusted team members do not truly care for you and your objectives, than they are not in a position to offer you advice.  
• Be small.  Advice of 2-5 is best when you are seeking council.  More than a small group will create problems, yet, as you can see from the list above, you cannot really have that many close, trusted advisers.

Take a honest look at those you have surrounded your life, your team, your business with.  Make a list of those that are definitely in your circle of advisers, those that could be and those that shouldn't be. Seek out those on the first list for the big decisions.

A final thought on this topic:  The concept of seeking advice and council from a trusted team is in no way abdicating your role as a leader and a decision maker.  The is not about taking a vote, or reaching consensus on every decision, rather, this is about your not acting hastily to avoid critical mistakes.  By the process of including advice from trusted advisers in your life, you are able to gather different views, perspectives and potential outcomes.  You slow down, which is so important when making big moves, because you wait to understand the many angles and opportunities in which to consider.

For each major decision you make, seek your team, wait for their response, and then act.  I promise you, the outcome will be far more fruitful then if you just "go-it" alone.

It is always personal

It is commonly accepted in the larger business world today to make decisions that are in the best interest of the business.  In the end, people will make the argument that the business only exists for itself and sometimes tough decisions need to be made.

Over my 20 year career, I have seen multiple rounds of "layoffs" within small, privately held companies, and within larger, publicly traded enterprises.  Even though one is more subject to the constant vibrations and emotions of Wall Street, both have goals to achieve and when they don't hit them, they look to cut costs (ie. people).

I remember a time when a pastor friend of mine talked about how the recession hit their church, and in a devastating way.  They not only lost frequent attenders, they had significant losses in the amount being given each weekend.  Eventually, the money was so tight that cuts had to be made, or they would no longer be able to survive as a church.  I am sure you have heard many business stories that are the same, whether in a small or large organization. 

The thought process to walk through to be a great leader is that you have a responsibility to those you shepherd.  You have a duty to those that are ultimately left in your care.  Therefore, I reject, and ask you to do the same, the phrase "it's not personal, it's just business."  See, for the people being let go, this is very personal.

The drive for wealth and hitting objectives sometimes has us lose sight of the fact that people's lives are directly impacted by those decisions.  I recognize that, and have spoken to the fact, that objectives need to be hit, profit needs to be made, and growth is a must.  Cutting people, though, isn't simply just business, it is personal to that individual.

I was let go from a position at a time in my life where my wife was dying from cancer.  We had two young boys at home and losing my job meant a loss of income and insurance.  The process was personal for me and my wife.  I have, unfortunately, let many people go over the years as well.  It isn't any fun on either side, yet I promise you that walking away without a job is painful.  Knowing that the company you worked with for years will go forward without you, is tough.  Knowing that you were cut to save money, and save others' jobs, is not always easy to take, personally.

Just remember, that when you make "business" decisions, the impact is personal.

Here are five quick tips to carrying out the business task, yet doing so that keeps the person in mind.

1. Have empathy for how they will feel and the impact this has on their lives
2. Speak to them, in tone and in words, as you would want to be spoken to
3. I know this will make HR folks shiver, yet you need to spend ample time with them, help them know you care, how hard it is, for you to do this, and that you wish them well...don't rush them out the door
4. Don't speak about other people, or other companies, or the economy, give them straight facts as to what the organization is doing and why
5. Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and thank them for what they did for you, they deserve to leave with integrity

Don't buy green bananas!

You might say I am bananas for bananas, I just love them!  The taste, the texture, the nutrients, all good stuff.  I eat a banana every day, and have done so for years, it is just a part of who I am and my daily routine for health.  I am, however, very picky about my banana, I do not like them brown, and I certainly do not want them green, I want the banana that is best for today.

When I was young I remember how so I looked forward to the times I would get to see or speak to one of the greatest men I have ever known, my grandfather.  He was nearly 60 years older than I, and so wise, so each day with him was a treat.  When I would ask him "how are you doing", he would almost certainly respond with "well son, I'm not buying green bananas!"  Of course, with I was just a child, it was funny, yet I didn't quite know want this meant.  As time passed and I was now in my twenties and he in his eighties, this interaction would still take place, and I knew his words held multiple meanings. 

The obvious, this was a funny way for an aging man to know he was old.  Next, he recognized that each day was a blessing, a gift, and he didn't know if tomorrow would come, so there wasn't time to let green bananas ripen.  Yet bigger than that, I believe behind that humor was a real life lesson in how to lead my life, and ultimately others.  Sure, tomorrow would be great and we could pick/buy more bananas, but what would I do with today? 

As I recall those times and realize that nearly 15 years has passed since, that is 5,475 bananas, wow, lots of potassium for sure!  Even more eye opening, that is 5,475 days that I have been given to live a life of maximum impact.  Each day a gift, each day a change to make the most, to give my best, to be the yellow banana in someone's life.  Simple question, what will you do with today?

Faith to sit, faith to act

There is an old saying that is a favorite of mine, it is commonly known as the serenity prayer. 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

Let's take a look at what this means to you, and how the three words in italics are the words to empower you to true fulfillment as you lead your life, and others.

Serenity is peace.  To be completely serene you know that what is or has occurred is not something you can change, and therefore, you have made peace with it.  Imagine sitting in a beautiful park in the upper midwest, on a crisp autumn day.  You are alone on a wooden bench under a shade tree, and your view is marvelous.  You are overlooking a lake, with birds flying against a perfect blue sky.  The backdrop is colorful, from red to orange to yellow, you see the splendor of fall.  As you sit in the quiet of the moment, a sudden rain storm swells up.  The clouds roll in, the wind howls, the rain pours, your perfect moment is ruined, right, well, wrong.  At least wrong attitude.  See, without the rain, the beauty you were viewing would not exist.  You cannot stop the rain, or control the wind, so being upset only changes you, not the circumstance.  Be still, be serene, accept the moment you cannot change.

The cowardly lion wanted courage.  He wanted to stand up and fight and not be afraid.  He knew that to get anywhere of value, he was going to have to do the work, he was going to need to fight, and so must you.  Each day you are faced with challenges and opportunities to lead, to grow, to build upon the vision and make an impact for others.  Will you have the courage to make that difference.  If you do, great things will happen.  If you don't, they won't.  There are many things in your life you can change, like your attitude.  Do you smile and greet people with enthusiasm?  Do you choose to accept the rain storm with peace?  Do you look at challenges as an opportunity to make a difference?  Let's go back to the lion, if you remember, he stands up for Dorothy, he decides to take action and go along for the journey to Oz.  In actuality, as the story shows, his ability to act is courage.  Always expecting the results you want is lacking wisdom.

And that brings us to the all important wisdom, knowledge that is beyond ourselves.  Wisdom is more than just intelligence, more than reading books or knowing the right thing to do.  Wisdom is understanding, it is seeing a bigger picture.  Wisdom in the best form is recognition that something is worth the fight, it is something you will try, and something that make a noble impact to others.  If you meet the goal or not is irrelevant to the fight.  Have the courage to go for it when you need to, to sit when you must, and the faith so that you can be shown the difference between the two.

Make a daily, and lasting impact

Most people, when truthfully speaking, will not place money as their number one reason for working at a place or business.  Studies show that other factors rise much higher, including:

• Being challenged as an individual
• Bringing value to others
• Opportunities to be promoted, ie, grow, expand responsibility or take on new things

I will summarize that this by saying people like to make an impact.  You, and me, want to know that what we do matters.  That our time, our efforts, our success is in seeing that others are helped, the organization moves forward and the mission is being accomplished.

So, then, why do so many people leave their jobs, or remain in jobs they are unhappy?  Why is our divorce rate at 50%?  Why is it that we tend to not feel appreciated or valued, and we constantly look for something else?  I am going to answer these questions by stating it is in YOUR hands, not someone else.  Stop looking for others to fix the problem and recognize that you have a path to fulfill, and it is in your power to do so.

There have been many discussions on levels of leaders, and those speak more to organizational qualities, or development qualities. I want to speak to your ultimate fulfillment in what you do, where you are in your life, and the constant building required from one stage to the next.  The key is to recognize that everyone is at different stages in their lives, so the amount of time to build from one stage to the next is unique.  Leadership, and living life, is in an individual process, and your pace will be specific to you. This entire book is dedicated to making a maximum impact and sustaining maximum growth.

I have broken down the path to daily and long term leadership into the following stages:

Stage 1:  Accept that you are a leader (everyone influences someone)
Stage 2:  Do the work for the benefit of others (you don't lead yourself)
Stage 3:  Make a positive impact, today, and every day (do the work)
Stage 4:  Measure the fruit produced and prepare for the next harvest (evaluation)
Stage 5:  Invest in others (give back by mentoring)

As you move up, you aren't neglecting the previous stage, just building upon each stage to continue your growth and your impact.
 

Don't get trapped in the rat race!

Getting caught up in the daily "rat race", or the grinding details of the work to do can leave one in an emotionally down state.  The effect of seeing all the work to do, the failures made, the errors occurring, or even the progress left ahead can cripple you.  In the end, your goals will not be accomplished, no one is being led and the outcome is disaster. 

In order to avoid this scenario, it is important to recognize the symptoms that are a result of not remaining focused on leading, on growth and on the broader vision.

Key areas of concern are:

• You only work on issues and problems
• You never accomplish your daily agenda priority items
• Your afternoons are filled with stress, chaos and upset people
• You don't take breaks, eat lunch or have time for fun
• You can't sleep 7 straight hours without awakening because you are worried about work

When you look at this list, rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, and be honest with yourself.  Give each point a rating, with 1 being  you never have this occur, and a 10 meaning you always do this.  If you score higher than a 35, you need to evaluate your priorities, your actions, your purpose and processes as a leader.  If you scored higher than a 45 you need to take a vacation, and then implement immediate action to avoid damage to other aspects of your life.  This is serious stuff, so start now.

Start first with your time, manage it, don't let it manage you.  There will always be interruptions, yet don't let them control what you do and when.  Respond to the highest priority item on YOUR list and address it first.  Someone else may have an item of high importance, yet you need to decide what is your highest priority in the scope of the overall vision.

Next, take a look at your goals and the methodology you are using to accomplishing them, including other people.  You may need to adjust your (and their) expectations, and possibly eliminate or change your vision, product or people.  Leaving things the way they are will only leave the symptoms as they are, and ultimately, progress will not be made.

Next step is to plan breaks into your day and week.  Allow down time, time to think, time to eat, relax and dream.  You need to acknowledge and accept that this is still work, yes, taking a break, thinking strategically and preparing for the next big task IS work.  This all allows you to be your best in each moment, which is the next point.

When you are working on something, sitting in a meeting, or speaking with a friend or co-worker, you need to be fully engaged in that moment.  Multitasking has received improper credit to represent people capable of doing a lot of things at one time.  Consider this from now on, if you are doing more than one thing at a time, you are now doing 2 things poorly.  Be where you are, period.  Fully engage and emotionally connect to the moment, nothing else. 

You will find that with a few simple adjustments in priority, time management, planning and engagement of your mind, you will see the right things are being done, and done more accurately and more efficiently. 

Perception is NOT reality

There is an old saying that perception is reality.  I would like to take some time to unveil the truth behind what perception is.  Perception is what someone believes something to be, and therefore, to them it becomes their reality.  That does NOT mean it is the actual reality, or the truth, yet it does provide for an obstacle in leading and accomplishing progress.

The reality is that a leaders needs to be able to lead, down and up, across and through and the perception of others can hinder your leadership.  The key point, however, is that to be successful as a leader, your vision, your methodology, your the ability to do the right thing, to remain focused on the larger goal and always have others' interests in mind is what makes you successful.  Trying to correct every misconception (or lack of reality) for each person is not feasible.

There is always going to be someone, somewhere, that perceives you not as your really are.  There is always someone that will bring you down, that says you aren't able or equipped.  There is always someone that will find fault in your work, and potentially personalize their message to be about you. 

This is what I call the perceptions gap.  This is the difference between reality and their perceived reality.

 The caution here, do not fall into the trap.  Here are the things to do to avoid reacting, or worse, having your self worth be based on the opinion of others and simply their perception of your performance. 

Make sure that you surround yourself with trusted leaders that give you honest feedback.  Have people that will be honest about your work ethic, about your vision, about who you are and what you do.  This can be family, friends, co workers, peers, bosses, anyone.  The quantity should be between 2-5 people, remember these are people you will allow in to the deepest part of your life.

Always reflect and be honest with yourself.  You know in your gut when you are doing your best, or not.  That deep part inside that says the direction is failing, means it probably is.  The opinion of your trusted advisers does matter, yet you know yourself the best.

Set goals that meet up with your vision and objectives.  I realize that many times in the workplace those are set for us, and we can't always change ours.  Saying that, are you accomplishing what is set before you.  Regardless of the many critics out there, if you are in alignment with your (or your set goals) then press ahead.

Communicate with others as much as possible.  Sharing the truth, the reality of what is occurring helps to eliminate the rumors and the perception gap.  Spend time sharing what is really happening, how it meets the goals and ultimately the vision.  By consistently communicating (see post on communication) you inform the reality and ultimately, change the perception. 

Your goal, is not to meet their perception, it is to influence it, and by doing so you close the gap and better align them to reality.