Making mistakes

As we have said, it is important for a leader to remain strong in your vision and consistent in your direction. There will be times, however, that in hindsight it will be obvious to all, or to most, that the leader was wrong.  Maybe it was it was you said.  Or maybe, more than likely, it could have been in how you communicated or how you made someone feel based on your remarks, tone or facial expression.  It also may just be that the facts show that the decision or action taken was incorrect or in someway flawed.

What do you do when you are wrong, and know it?  Let's look at this from three perspectives, and we will start out with common myths.

Myth one:  Leaders are always right, and they aren't leaders if they make mistakes.
Myth two: Leaders show weakness when they say they were wrong. 
Myth three: People don't trust you if you admit your wrong.

Myth one:  Leaders are always right, and they aren't leaders if they make mistakes:  

We all know in our hearts that no one is perfect and no leader is either for that matter.  Sometimes, however, our society looks and analyzes our leaders, our politicians, coaches, pastors and business executives and when they are wrong, they want them fired.  When their decisions don't work, get rid of them.  When the team loses, they don't know how to coach.  Today's media and the culture of America that demands everything and everything now is tough on leaders.  The bottom line is that leaders don't always get it right.  Mistakes are made, the key is, what do you do when you make them?

Myth two: Leaders show weakness when they say they were wrong.  

Maybe you feel you will be perceived as weak if you say you are wrong.  Maybe you just have too much pride to admit to failure.  Maybe you aren't sure if they will still follow you if you are seen as incorrect, ultimately making you weak.  Whatever your reason, you are wrong, and you need to admit it:)

The reality is that people perceive you from their own eyes and with their own lens.  If you make mistakes and they know, and they know you know it, but you stand firm without acknowledgement of the mistake, they will see you as prideful.  You will become the unapproachable leader.  You actually become more weak when they realize that you don't see the truth.  The truth is, all people make mistakes, including leaders, and admitting you did is important.

Myth three: People don't trust you if you admit your wrong.

This is actually the most important myth to discover and revoke.  You want their trust, then you need to admit you were wrong.  People don't trust people that are prideful and oblivious of the facts.  You will gain immediate respect when you say, I was wrong.  More importantly, making a mistake means you need to do more than just say I was wrong, you need to apologize.  You need to amend the wrong and that is how the trust is built.

Your apology should be:

• In person (if at all possible). No text messages or emails, if you can't do it in person, do it over the phone.  Talk to the person so they can see and hear what and how you are saying it.

• Sincere.  Let them know, in voice inflection, eyes, your choice of words, you know you were wrong and you are sorry.

• A catalyst for the future.  You need them to follow you, if you want them to trust you, learn from your mistake and share that learning.  Let them know you have considered the outcomes and impact and are making changes to ensure the future is better as a result.

If you believe in yourself, have the confidence to learn from what you do right and wrong.  Share that learning with others and use the experience to be a better leader.

 

Looks like work

A common myth of making it to the top of leadership is that you don't work, others do it all.   If you study leaders and what makes them great is that what they do looks like work, why, because it is.  They may not be running machines, answering phones or teaching class, but believe that what they do is work.

Take a principal, they lead the school yet do not typically do any teaching.  My father was a principal for nearly 15 years.  Most of the students, parents and teachers that I still see from that time frame only remember him as their principal.  For the 15 years prior to that time, however, he was a teacher and a coach.  The days were spent with hands on instruction, guidance, running plays, reviewing film, grading papers and ensuring the students received the knowledge he was entrusted to provide.  As principal, however, many onlookers may just see a man that sits in meetings, that is in his office pushing papers, working on a computer or traveling to seminars.  The reality, as we all know, is that his role was to lead.

The work of a leader does look different than most of the work done by their followers.  This work, may entail more strategic thinking downtime, dealing with personnel one-on-one, moving from one person or task quickly to another, and may include more meetings.  A day in a life of a leader, though, still consists of work that requires work ethic, integrity in thinking and action, and ultimately setting and keeping the course for all of those "doing" the detailed work. 

After nearly 20 years of being in leadership roles, I found myself and other leaders in the office doing traditional work less than those that I lead.  What I also find true is that the stress level and "mind thought time" is far greater.  The mind thought time is those moments where a leader dreams, creates, runs thoughts and ideas and plans through their mind.  This is work, and how do you know.  A leader has a focused look, spends time on it, and uses it to formulate strategy and actions for the team.  This time may look like day dreaming, I say...it looks like work.

Resolute

A strong leader is willing to change their mind, yet they are not easily pursuaded by every group, idea or discontented followers.  In no way am I inferring that input and collaboration are not important, they are.  Input and feedback should always be rendered and given time to be considered prior to moving ahead.  Saying that, however, followers want and need direction that is consistent and they need to be affirmed by the leader that the course is solid and the destination is clear.  

A constant change or lack or consistency will ultimately lead to a lack of followers and a failed vision.  I have always likened consistent direction from a leader that is combined with room for individual decision making to be that similar to planning a trip.  Imagine that I told you I wanted to take a vacation and travel by car from Chicago Illinois to Orlando Florida and I wanted to arrive in less than 3 days.  I am going to allow you to plan the route, stops, food, stays and so forth and will provide $1000 to the budget to spend on all related expenses to getting us there.  

That is clear and direction communication and I have also allowed room for you to be creative, to make decisions and to act upon them.  If you come back to me and give me all the reasons why Florida is not a good way to go, or that maybe I should fly there to save time, I can listen to that, but in the end, if my destination is Orlando and I want to drive, those are not negotiable.  The rest is in your control and stays within the decision I have made.

Now take this to your world.  When you lead others at home, or in business you need to ensure they receive clear information and once the decision is made you stick with that direction.  The other key is that once movement is in place, don't get caught up in the details.  As in my vacation example, since I didn't specify what roads to take or where to stop, I shouldn't get involved in those details as the leader.  Your job is to monitor that the directive is carried out and you need to move on to the next idea. 

What is leadership?

If you were to ask 100 people the question, "what is leadership", you would more than likely receive 100 different answers.  I would also propose that many of them would be surrounded by theme of directing, managing or being someone that "gets things done".  The online dictionary at reference.com says, a leader is "a person who guides or directs a group".  Websters says, "the office or position of a leader, capacity to lead, the act or an instance of leading."

I heard a definition this morning on the radio that was from Dwight D. Eisenhower, he said, "A leader is someone that takes all the blame when things go wrong, and finds someone else to give the credit to when things go right."  Interesting thought.  This is also similar to what Jim Collins describes in his book Good to Great, when he mentions "...the best leaders look in the mirror when things go wrong and they look outside the window when they go right..."

From these two individuals, who lived their adult lives nearly 40 years apart, the definition from them is a bit different then our originals.

The dictionary definitions, which I believe are nearly the common thoughts held about leadership in our society, is that it is about position, or ability or about directing people.  I am not saying those are false, just that they might not be entirely accurate and encompassing of what true leadership is.

When we hold leaders to only specific positions, or if we only think their role is to direct our guide, then we start to reveal why our nation and our world is starving for real leaders.  Leadership is not about position or power alone.  It isn't just about vision or guidance alone.  It isn't just about communication alone.  Even though all of those are vitally important for any leader to possess, leadership is open to all.  There are so many opportunities to lead in our lives, daily, that maybe the word courage should be used in our definition.

Here is our working definition.  Anytime, anyone, is in a position to influence the actions of another person, and they have the courage to do so, that is leadership.  That's it.  It is that simple.

Don't lose sight of the little moments, with family, your co-workers, your friends, and those you see as you experience life.  There are constant moments where you can say or do something that impacts those around you, and in that moment, and forever that they remember and use those teachings, you have executed leadership for the betterment of another.

Go ahead, get out there and lead!

The Art of Intentional Dialogue

Yes, communication is an art.  When done correctly, it takes on an art form all its own.  We all know people that like to talk, (I have been mentioned in those lists) and we all know people that can write, or speak, and even can spin great ideas.  Yet, to get the message across and ensure that action is taken in the proper direction, the best leaders must communicate as if creating art.

First, you need to be aware of your subject.  As a painter, you must know who you are painting, their age, gender, profession and intentions for the painting.

Second, you must know the set, including lighting, background and props.

Third, when creating a painting, the frame, colors used, and the canvas along with how and where the painting will be displayed are factors you must take into consderation.

Being an effective leader means finding a better way to communicate.  This art form is one that must be continually perfected and adjusted.  All of the same aspects as the painter need to be considered:

1.  Who are you speaking to?  Great leaders adjust to their audience.  They know that speaking to a seasoned veteran of the industry is not the same as speaking to a college aged entry level administrator.  Understand that their needs are different, their experiences are different and how they filter what you say will be different.
2.  What is the context?  Is the timing perfect, is the climate in the office or group up or is it down?  What type of pressures are you and the person (s) being communicated to under? 
3. How does what you are saying personally effect the receiver?  Are you delivering this message in writing, in person, to a group, or one-on-one.  All of these factors will contribute to how you say the what you say.

No question, that the final product, the art of what you say, is really in the how you say it.  Always form your conversations to be focused on the issue, and done so in a direct, yet gentle manner.  When you start thinking about your communications as important as the artist does their painting, you will then take care in how and what you say. 

The final thought on this, the right conversation at the wrong time is the wrong conversation.  Even the best modern painting will not appeal if it is being displayed in a romantic period gallery.  You need to know the right time to communicate.

CPF Principle

For years I have seen first hand organizations struggling to survive and hit their objectives, and usually it is because their priorities are not aligned.  The aligned could be just that they don't agree internally, or worse yet, it could be that their formula for success is founded upon a self gain strategy.

Let's look at a proven methodology that increases client satisfaction, employee/team member satisfaction and provides for a sustainable environment for growth for all stakeholders involved.  This can be used in just about any type of organization that is a for-profit group.

This is what I call the CPF principle and I first started implementing it as my key philosophy, and team expectation set, about 15 years ago.  The CPF principle is really very straightforward, 3 key things you must do as a leader to promote success and sustainability.  Three simple words, yet three challenging propositions.

C = Client
P = Profit
F = Fun

The big idea is that if accomplished, the client is happy, your group is making money and everyone is having fun doing it.

That's it, it is that simple, right.  Well, we will take a look at each of these in further detail in the coming posts ahead.

Excellence in everything and in everything, excellence.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  Well, I believe it is the chicken, but that isn't the point.  The point is that both are chickens, yet one begins the process. 

So, which comes first, doing everything in an excellent manner or expecting excellence in everything and from everybody, and therefore you get excellence in everything?  Just like with the chicken, you can make a solid argument either way.  For our purposes of looking at a better way to lead, it is the latter.

Certainly, doing things in an excellent manner is a great course of action and will yield great results.  Yet sustaining excellence in everything, and from everybody, requires that we expect excellence.  We know what we want, we know what excellence looks, feels and sounds like, and in all things, that is what we expect.  Then, from there, we perform and expect performance from our team, that will only be at or above that level.  It isn't about tasks, or doing one thing well, it is about doing all things well.

My son is a golfer and strives to play in school and beyond.  He is starting to learn the difference between enjoying golf and being a golfer.  If you have ever watched pro golf you realize how small the difference is between a good shot and a great shot.  The difference between first place and not getting paid for that tournament can be as small as 4 or 5 shots a round.   Average golfers want to be good and shoot in the 80's.  Pro golfers practice dilegently, for hours a day, expecting great results, shooting in the 60's.  They work with coaches, watching film of their swing, making adjustments, all to ensure that the results are excellent.  When the outcome falls short, they go back and adjust again.

Is that how you work, coach, mentor, lead your family or team?  Do you expect great results, in everything and from everyone?  When the outcome falls short do you reflect, learn and aim to improve?

In order to be a great leader, to create a following that delivers better results you must expect excellence.  Being average or as good as a competitor isn't enough.  Trying to keep clients from complaining isn't enough.  When things fail, making excuses isn't enough. 

Start expecting excellence and when you don't get it, ask why.  Start to learn and improve the daily practice and never lower the bar.  People tend to relax to the place where comfortable, make sure that is in the excellence zone, or take them back out the practice range.